The wonderful and mystical sound of Gamelan (a Javanese music instruments) accompanies a traditional sacred Panggih or Temu (means meeting) between a beautiful bride with her handsome bridegroom in front of a house decorated with ‘Tarub’ plant decoration. The bridegroom, accompanied by his close relatives (but not his parents who are not allowed to be present during the ritual), arrives at the house of the bride’s parents and stops at the gate of the house. The bride, accompanied by two elderly women, walks out of the bridal room. Her parents and close relatives walk behind her. Preceding the bride are two young girls, Patah, holding a fan. Two elderly women or two young boys are carrying two Kembar Mayang (bouquet ornament), about one meter of height. One woman from the bridegroom’s family walks forward and gives a Sanggan (a gift in the form of banana fruits and flowers put in a tray covered with banana leaves) to the mother of the bride, as a sign of appreciation to the hostess of the ceremony.
During the Panggih ceremony, the Kembar Mayang are brought outside the house and thrown away in a crossroad nearby the house, depicting all evil spirits should not disturb the ceremony in the house and its surrounding area. For decoration, one pair has been put on the right and left side of the couple’s wedding chair during the reception. Kembar Mayang is used only if the couple was unmarried before.
BALANGAN SURUH Ceremony:
The bride is meeting the bridegroom. They approach each other. When they are about three meters from each other, they start throwing to each other seven small bundles of betel leaves with lime inside tied together with white yarn. They do it eagerly and happily, everyone is smiling happy. According to ancient belief, betel leaves have the power to chase away bad spirits. By throwing betel leaves to each other, it should be proved that they are really the genuine persons, not some ghost or another person who pretends to be the bride or the bridegroom.
WIJI DADI Ceremony:
The bridegroom crashes a chicken egg with his right foot. The bride washes the bridegroom’s foot using water mixed with several kinds of flowers. It depicts that the bridegroom is ready to become a responsible father and the bride should faithfully serve her husband.
SINDUR BINAYANG Ceremony:
After the ritual of Wiji Dadi, the father of the bride leads the couple to the wedding chair, the mother of the bride covers the couple’s shoulders with Sindur. Symbolising the father shows the way c
Both the bride and the bridegroom are sitting on the bride’s father’s lap, while he says that they have the same weight, meaning that he loves them both equally.
The bride’s father seats the couple in the wedding chair. It depicts that he approves the marriage. He gives his blessing.
TUKAR KALPIKA Ceremony:
Exchange of wedding rings as a sign of love.
KACAR KUCUR or TAMPA KAYA Ceremony:
With the help of the Pemaes, the couple walks arm in arm, or more precisely holding each other with their little finger, to the site of the ritual. There, the bride gets from the bridegroom some soybeans, peanuts, paddy rice, corns, yellow rice, herbs, flowers and coins of different values (the quantity of the coins must be even). It depicts that the husband should give all his income to his wife. The bride carefully receives these gifts in a small white cloth, above an old mat that has been put on her lap. She should be a good and caring housewife.
DAHAR KLIMAH or DAHAR KEMBUL Ceremony:
The wedding couple is eating together, feeding each other. The Pemaes, as the leader of the ceremony, gives a plate to the bride with yellow rice, fried eggs, soybean, tempe, and fried meat. First, the bridegroom makes three small balls of rice with his right hand and gives it to the bride. After the bride has eaten, she will do the same for the bridegroom. When they are finished, they drink sweet tea. The ritual depicts the couple should use and enjoy their belongings together.
The bride’s parents pick up the parents of the bridegroom in front of the house. They walk together to the place of the ceremony. The mothers walk in front, the fathers behind. The parents of the bridegroom sit on the left side of the couple. The parents of the bride sit on the right side of the couple.
While they kneel, the couple will ask for the blessing of their parents: first from the parents of the bride, then from the parents of the bridegroom. During the Sungkeman, the Pemaes takes out the keris from the bridegroom. After the ritual, the bridegroom wears again his keris. It should be noted that the couple’s parents are wearing the same design of batik (Truntum), meaning the couple should always have enough fortune for a good living. They are also wearing Sindur as waist sash. The red drawing in the Sindur with its curved edges means that life is like a river running through the mountains. The parents are escorting the newlyweds to the real life so they can build a strong family.
source : Dirk and Irien site